HOW TO MANAGE A TEAM OF USELESS IDIOTS: A GUIDE FOR THE EXASPERATED MANAGER
Managing a team of useless idiots can be a daunting task. It's easy to feel overwhelmed and exasperated, but with the right tools and strategies in place, it's possible to turn even the most hopeless team into a productive, efficient unit.
In this post, we'll share some tips for how to manage a team of useless idiots. So, if you're feeling frustrated and ready to give up, read on for some helpful advice.
How to tell if you're managing a team of useless idiots
The surefire sign that you’re managing a team of useless idiots? You’re exhausted. Managing a team of brilliant people is easy - you give them some direction and they run with it.
But when your team is full of clowns who can’t seem to do anything right, you spend your time firefighting and putting out fires. Sound familiar? If so, read on for some tips on how to manage a team of useless idiots.
The benefits of managing a team of useless idiots
There are several benefits to managing a team of useless idiots.
First, it's frankly hilarious. Watching someone struggle with a task that is clearly over their head is a source of amusement that never gets old.
Second, it's an opportunity to see your team members grow and develop.
Third, it's a great way to weed out the weaklings and find the diamonds in the rough.
And finally, it's a way to build loyalty and team spirit. When everyone knows they are expendable, they will work harder to prove their worth.
So go ahead and manage a team of useless idiots - it's good for the soul!
How to find the silver lining in managing a team of useless idiots
It's not always easy to manage a team of useless idiots, but there are a few things you can do to make the experience a little more bearable.
First of all, try to find the silver lining. Even though it may seem like they're constantly messing up, there's probably something that they're good at. Find out what that is and help them cultivate and grow their skills.
“Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with low SAT scores. The only differences among us is that we're idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.” Scott Adams
Secondly, develop a reputation for expertise in your field. When customers see that you're an expert in your field, they'll be more likely to come to you for advice.
Finally, be patient. It takes time to train a new employee, and it's likely that you'll make some mistakes along the way. Just keep making corrections and eventually you'll get there.
I went for a job interview. The manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man,” I replied. “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
How to make the most of managing a team of useless idiots
Despite the challenges, there are a few things you can do to make the most of managing a team of useless idiots:
1. Try to identify their strengths and find ways to use them.
2. Don't micromanage; give them some breathing room.
3. Celebrate their successes, even if they're small.
4. Be patient; it may take some time for them to get up to speed.
5. Stay calm and don't let them get to you.
How to survive managing a team of useless idiots
It's not always easy managing a team of people, especially if they're useless idiots. But don't worry, there are ways to survive.
First and foremost, it's important to stay calm and avoid falling into the same traps as your team. Getting angry or frustrated will only make things worse.
Secondly, you need to find ways to motivate them. Whether it's through positive reinforcement or rewards, find something that works and stick to it.
Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help. There are plenty of resources available, both online and offline.
And if all else fails, there's always Pinikl. We can help everyone find and cultivate the thing that makes them most unique in the world — specialism and expertise that can attract customers who want your advice.
Conclusion
Managing a team of useless idiots can be frustrating, overwhelming and downright demoralising, but it's not impossible.
With the right attitude and some clever tips, you can turn this seemingly impossible task into a (relative) breeze. So what are you waiting for? Get started today!
“Sometimes idiots can accomplish wonderful things.” Scott Adams